His sneakered feet kicked up the orange dust of the dirt road as he ran into the horizon with his backpack slung over his shoulder. I could hear his breathing from where I stood on the bridge. His thick hair.
“Hey!” I called after him. He stopped and turned to face me, face pink and chest heaving. “When will I see you again?” My eyes widened as I awaited an answer. The autumn wind blew through my hair and chilled my cheeks and nose, reddening my ears.
“Tomorrow!” He yelled back in a hoarse voice. I guessed he must not have been very fit. “Meet me back here!” Running a hand through his hair, he began to run backwards. Only after flashing a smile at me and then waving did he turn around again.
----- I met him back at the same spot: the covered bridge in the park. It was built under some weeping willows, over a small stream that ran through the park. The month: late October. There was some frost on the ground, but not very much. The red painted wood of the bridge kept out the sprinkles of rain that were falling, hitting the tin roof like tiny drops of quicksilver. My hands were cold, turning more and more pink by the minute. “Where is he?” I said under my breath, shoving my hands in my jacket pockets and looking around the park. His thick head of dark hair was nowhere to be seen.
While I waited, I recalled the past day’s events. We talked about art, plants, and life in general before kissing a little which led to kissing a lot. I ran my hands through his hair until sundown. We talked about his dad being dead, my moms, his plants, my art. I was calm, he was tired. He fell asleep in my lap for a little while.
Oak. That was his name, although not very fitting. He was thin, almost scrawny, even though he did have a little bit of muscle. He explained that it was from lifting the bags of fertiliser at the garden shop that he worked at. Whenever I saw him, his hands were covered in dirt and he smelled like soil, water, and plants. Despite working with his hands a lot, they were soft and strong, comforting to hold. His long hair, silky and thick, draped over his square shoulders and in front of his dark almond eyes.
My thoughts were interrupted by someone slapping a hand onto my shoulder and turning me around, kissing me before I knew what was happening. With my eyes shut due to reflex, I inhaled deeply, the scent of soil and water filled my nose. I opened on hazel eye to see a tan face with a strong nose and almond eyes in front of mine. A smile crawled onto my lips as I put a hand behind his head and another on his cheek, kissing him back. He placed a hand on the back of my neck and the other on the small of my back.
Eventually we broke away and looked each other in the eyes. I blushed, as did he. “Hi,” I said, voice soft.
“Hey.” He was out of breath, probably from running again. “How are you?” Oak asked, brushing back the hair that was wet against his face.
“Better.” I said, wiping some of the rain off his cheek with my sleeve. “And you?” Watching his dark eyes dancing in the late day light made my heart soar. He was so full of curiosity, wonder, and joy, despite what he’d been through.
“Great.” A smile spread across his lips as he spoke breathlessly. He began to lean in closer, seemingly for another kiss, but I decided to make him wait a little. He was like putty in my warm hands, malleable and soft. I liked it that way, and so, it seemed, did he. Leaning back but then in again, like a snake teasing its prey, I gave him a small peck on the lips, a taste of what was to come.
“Let’s talk a little.” I made my voice breathy and seductive, my eyes half closed but still looking into his, and rested my hand on his head. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, I could feel it, so I leaned in a little closer. My lips by his ear, I whispered. “I like you, Oak. A lot.” His long eyelashes fluttered as he listened to my voice. Nodding, he swallowed. “O-okay.” I sat, pulling him down with my. My leg crossed over one of his while my fingers captured his hands lovingly.
“How’ve you been?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. I was taller than him, but not by much, so my eyes were just above his; his big, brown, sad, wonder-filled eyes. “You know,” I shrugged, rubbing his hands. “With your dad and all.”
His shoulders dropped. I must not have said what he was expecting. “I’m okay. Trying to look after my mom and stuff.” He let his dark hair fall over his shoulders like a waterfall of tar, eyes of amber looking at his calloused hands and dirty nails. “She’s still real torn up about it.”
“How long’s it been?” I spoke cautiously, knowing he was still vulnerable and sensitive. “Since he… passed.” My voice gradually softened to a whisper. This was a touchy subject for him, and I didn’t want to upset him to the point of him not talking to me.
“A few months. They knew each other their whole lives, though. Since they were kids, she says.” Oak’s voice was shaky, and he was fragile. His heart like glass, shattering with a hairline fracture. “It’s been rough, I guess.”
I put my arm around his neck and pulled his head close to my heart. “That sucks. You guys’ll get through it, though. You’re tough folk.” One of his hands slinked around me and rested itself on the small of my back, while the other landed on my chest.
“I guess.” He sighed. From my point of view, I couldn’t see his eyes. Only his long lashes and damp cheeks. Oak’s hair was still a little wet, and he was shivering. He didn’t have a jacket, even though it was raining.
“You cold?” I asked, letting him go so I could take off my own thick jacket. He tried to refuse, but I put it around his shoulders anyway. “Can’t have you being sick, I wouldn’t be able to see you then.” After resuming my previous position, I smiled at him.
“Thanks,” He smiled back at me, something soft in his eyes. Was it love? Maybe. Infatuation was more likely.
We sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the rain and each other’s breathing. His inhales and exhales were small and quiet, but every so often, he sighed loudly as if he wasn’t getting enough air. He lay his head back on my chest and his hand was on the small of my back once again. Things felt peaceful, calm. The roof of the covered bridge kept us dry, but not necessarily warm. We had each other for body heat, though, so we were okay.
“Adonis?” Oak said suddenly. He didn’t say my name very often, usually just shouting or exclaiming at me to get my attention, so this threw me off, causing me to hesitate.
“Yeah?” I responded, looking down to see him looking back up at me with sad, dark eyes.
“Do you really like me like you said you do? Like… really? Actually?” His voice was soft, a vast difference from his usual raspy, sarcastic tone. His words punched a hole in my heart; I didn’t want him to doubt that I liked him, I didn’t want him to feel insecure in our strange little relationship.
“Of course!” I affirmed him, running my hand through his hair. “Of course I like you like I said, Oak. I don’t lie.” Biting my lip out of worry, I awaited his reaction. Seconds of silence felt like hours, and it was agonising.
“You’re not scared of what people will think? You have a sort of reputation at school, and so do I. You’re the big, buff, manly wrestler that everyone likes and I’m the scrawny weird kid who likes plants too much.” His long fingers drew circles on my back, tracing themselves over my ribs and up and down my spine. “People don’t think you’re gay, Adonis, is what I’m trying to say… I guess.”
I paused. I hadn’t thought about that, but then again I didn’t really care what other’s thought about me. Oak, on the other hand, very much did. Despite how snarky and defensive he tended to be around people he didn’t trust, he craved attention and approval from pretty much everyone. If he ever did something wrong, he would have a panic attack and shut down.
“I don’t care about that sort of thing, Oak. I’ll be open about it, or stay in the closet if you want. Whatever makes you feel safer.” I really did like Oak, but I felt predatory in a way, chasing after him in such a vulnerable state. He was already a small and fragile person, bottling up his emotions until they overflowed and spilled out onto the ground.
The hand of his that was on my chest curled into a fist, gripping my shirt and then releasing it, flattening out again. He repeated this, minus the shirt grabbing, a few times before he said anything. “I want to be open about it. I want to be happy with you, Adonis, I do, but I’m scared. I don’t want to get harassed…” Oak’s voice trailed off, breaking at the last word.
I combed his hair behind his ear, using the softest touch I could. “Who would harass one of the beefiest guys in school?” I laughed. As my body moved with each chuckle, his frail frame froze a fraction further. I stopped laughing abruptly, putting my hand on his shoulder. Now probably wasn’t the time for jokes I realised, cringing at myself.
The air smelled of hickory smoke and rain, which, where we lived, smelled a little bit like corn. The rushing stream flowed under us, adding to the watery atmosphere we were already in. Rain still beat on the roof like little feet marching down a dusty trail. Every time we shifted, the wood under us creaked. We didn’t talk for a long time. I was listening to the sounds around me, but I wasn’t sure if Oak was doing the same. His hand rested in a fist on my chest, making small circles and occasionally doing the same moment with only his pointer finger. The hand he kept on my back stayed still for the most part, tracing up and down my spine every so often.
We didn’t talk for the rest of the time until he had to leave. By then, the rain had let up to a soft drizzle. “My mom texted me.” He said, voice hoarse as we stood. After handing my jacket back to me, he straightened his back and looked me in the eye. Suddenly, Oak kissed me, just a small peck, but quickly enough to catch me off guard. Then, he began to run down the dirt road.
“Hey!” I yelled. He stopped and turned to look at me, face wet and blushed. “When will I see you again?” My heart yearned for him, his soft touching rough hands, his slightly chapped skin, his not perfectly smooth hands. Oak was good, he made me feel whole. “Tomorrow.” He grinned at me before running off into the distance, leaving me alone once again.